[Heyyew]

Hibiscussting had gotten shaved a day ago by the medicine cat of Scorchclan for doing this. She had passed out and had gotten shaved. How had the girl even done it? Hibiscussting wasn’t sure. But she was doing the stupid thing again. She was trying to dig up Nettlestep’s body so they could bury it in Rushingclan territory. She stopped at this point, ducking into shade. She needed a break, even if she didn't want it. She was just so tired.

[dragonridersc]

Spiderfur had his front half slumped over the mound of rocks that had crushed his friend an ended their time together. Sometimes, he'd close his eyes and remember the days when Nettlestep was a young kit eager to help wherever he could. Then he'd open his eyes to realise those days were long gone and that there was no longer anything to look forward to. At least in regards to Nettlestep.

[Heyyew]

Hibiscussting’s ears twitched in hearing a shuffling above her. She was wary of maybe the Scorchclan medicine cat having come back, so she snuck up to see who it was. Upon seeing that Spiderfur was out here all alone the warrior she-cat was both confused and concerned. Spiderfur was Rushingclan’s only medicine cat. It was dangerous for him to be alone. “Spiderfur…” Hibiscussting meowed softly. She realized she did not have to ask why he was here. The answer was obvious.

The warrior she-cat stepped closer to him, unsure what to say, but knowing she had to say something. “I… I came here to try and get him out. To bury him in Rushingclan lands. I know its pointless… But I can’t bring myself to stop from trying.”

She felt stupid saying these words, but they were the only ones she could think to say.

[dragonridersc]

Spiderfur was a little late to react, turning slowly to face who was calling him. He blinked bleary eyed, confused by what he was seeing. "Bubbleburst?" Could she really be here? Why would a Mysticclan cat be here of all times? After how quiet they had been and all of the devastation they've unleashed. Was he dead? Was she here to take him away. "D-did you know him? Is he well in Mysticclan?"

[Heyyew]

As tempted as Hibiscussting was to pretend to be her mother for Spiderfur’s sake she knew the lie would be found out. She did not look that much like her mother after all. The warrior she-cat was quite wrong in that, with her new short fur the resemblance was uncanny. But her fur was undoubtedly not that of her mother’s. She had been keeping an eye on him- and he clearly had not been taking care of himself. His state currently was mildly delirious from grief and possibly hunger and dehydration. But that was her just guessing.

“I am not my mother Spiderfur…” She meowed softly. “I may not be Mysticclan… But I hope my presence will be of help nonetheless. I know he is well in Mysticclan.” Hibiscussting padded over to Spiderfur and settled next to him. “Our ancestors are merely those who came before us, and they will treat him as what he is- a clan mate. I imagine he misses us dearly. But one day we’ll all be together again. He looks forward to that day… But for now he wants us to live for the people here and now.”

She felt corny saying things like this. Acting like she was wise or something. That wasn’t her at all… Right?

[dragonridersc]

Suddenly the world wasn't burry anymore and the she-cats features settled more clearly. "Hibiscussting?" there was slight disappointment in his tone, if she had been her mother then maybe he could of gotten some answers. Answers he desperately needed, that they all needed. Her words rung hollow in his years, but they held some truth for him. It was like he was understanding what she was saying, but didn't want to believe. "How can i live now if i have to say goodbye to everyone who came before me"

[Heyyew]

Hibiscussting would have frowned at his disappointment if she wasn’t already not smiling. Of course he wouldn’t be happy to see her. She had not ever been helpful to him. He had never needed her like she needed him. But right now he did… And it was up to her to be there for him. “Two reasons. The first being it is not good bye- because goodbye implies forever. You’re just not going to see them for awhile. They’re all still here, just in Mysticclan. And the second reason… How can you live?… I really don’t mean to sound cruel here Spiderfur. But you’re not the only one who has lost people.”

Her tone was gentle, showing she really truly did not mean to be harsh in saying this. “All the people I shared an apprentice den with are dead now, even my siblings… I do not know what fate all of them met… But I know I am likely the last one alive of them. Even both my mentors are dead.” It hurt to speak of them… But Hibiscussting knew she had to say this. Because worse than hurting was believing you were the only one who was hurting.

It was truly the most lonely feeling in the world.

[dragonridersc]

He curled in on himself at the little display of tough love, She wasn't wrong though. He was acting ignorant and selfish, especially as a medicine cat; he's work was abysmal now ,could hardly be called proper medicine cat treatment. He felt so ashamed and so guilty for it too, it made him want to disappear which only made his work ethic worse. It felt like he was being scolded for doing something childish, something he knew he shouldn't be doing. Because deep down inside there was a part of him that knew this wasn't the way to handle his grief, deep in his hear he knew it wasn't his fault. But it was hard to believe after so many failures.
There was a flicker of something warm as he listened to Hibiscussting talk of those she knew. It was poking a hole in his memories, allowing for old reassures to flood through. "....My sisters were still borns, Mysticdream was too late to save them, thats what my mentor told me. He told me that Mysticdream took them swiftly to the stars though and when i went to meet our ancestors for the first time, they were there. It was like we had known each other for a life time"

[Heyyew]

Hibiscussting started stroking Spiderfur’s back with her tail, feeling oddly reversed in their roles. She remembered how she’d oft come to him like this as an apprentice. He needed her help. And for once she was going to be there for him. “And indeed you had, they were watching you that whole time… And I have no doubt they probably made a few friends up there too. In a way Mysticclan is like a second life for us all…. And a tenth for the leaders…”

She wasn’t sure she was doing as well as he was though. But she was trying.

[dragonridersc]

Spiderfur was vaguely away of a gentle touch that ran along his back, it was soothing if not strange. It almost reminded him of his mother's touch when he would get upset. The thought made his heart ache, thinking of the missed lives his sisters had and all the things he wouldn't experience with them. "It doesn't make missing them any less painful"

[Heyyew]

“Think we could see them now? The entrance to the Mysticclan place is just over…” Hibiscussting’s eyes flew open wide. She hadn’t thought of it until now… But with the lava the entrance was likely buried. “At Crescent island.” She recovered, biting her lip.

[dragonridersc]

Spiderfur shook his head, having already gone there before "It's covered in solid rock. We won't be speaking to our ancestors for a long time", his head fell onto his paws at that. Still slumped over the rocks that buried his old friend, his eyes were locked on something ahead; nothing really in particular. His eyes still had an unfocused glaze over them.

[Heyyew]

“There’s still Crescent Island. I went there myself, remember?” She had told him about that, right? She was pretty sure she had.

[dragonridersc]

"Do i?" he wasn't quite sure. He turned his suspecting eyes to her "Did you really?" he slurred, his eyes drooping slightly.

[Heyyew]

“I did, I saw my mom and everything.” She dipped slightly, looking at him with concern. She was really thinking she would have to try and help him with his physical issues first. Before he could even begin to hear her. But he was hearing her a little at least. “Come on, lets talk about this on the way to the stream below. You need a drink and some food in you.”

[dragonridersc]

Spiderfur was getting worriedly thin, his bones were beginning to pop out a little too non subtly. His thin pelt wasn't good at hiding such things. Eating was a chore nowadays, something he couldn't bring himself to do. It just made him feel sick and waste food, he'd always find a way to skip meals and hide that he was doing so. He was confident that no one had noticed yet, but then again his slim figure would say otherwise. "I don't want to eat" he mumbled

[Heyyew]

“You gonna make me chew up your food for you?” Hibiscussting meowed in a painfully teasing voice. Painful in that it was woefully fake. She couldn’t even pretend to be joking. It was clear that she was, but the delivery was terrible. She nudged him again. “Come on now.” If this didn’t work she would simply catch something from the river and bring it to him. It wouldn’t be as good as water and food- but the fish would give him something in terms of moisture.

[dragonridersc]

"You don't need to do that" he slurred tiredly, tilting to rest his head on it's side. "Im not a kit", his paw were clinging onto the rocks as hard as he could; refusing to let go. A walk to get a drink sounded like a nice idea, but a crawling feeling in his stomach stopped him from even getting up. "I don't want to go. I don't want to leave him" he moaned, rubbing his cheek against the cold stone; his eyes shut tight.

[Heyyew]

“I see him though Spiderfur. Right…” She put a paw to her chest. “Here. Because he lives in me. And he lives in you. The memories he gave us are remnants of him. And those are the real things we can hold onto… Says the hypocrite that was just trying to dig him up so we can bury him in Rushingclan territory… I know its impossible, but its hard to stop from trying.”

[dragonridersc]

Memory. Memory was really all he had left wasn't it? Before that was a comforting thought, back when things weren't so bad and he hadn't turned out to be such a failure. Now memories were bittersweet, knowing that they will fade with time and new ones will never come to replace them. They were precious in that they could never be renewed. He shifted slightly, resting more on his side, leaving a space beside him. A part of him was welcoming someone to come sit by him. Whether it was someone past or present was not to be known. "Trying is all iv'e done. And every time i've failed"